1. I just told someone that I’m nonbinary and they shouldn’t use gendered pronouns in reports about me, but singular “they” works well. They responded by telling me that they’d just use my name over and over again because it was more personal/”person-centric”…?

    I don’t understand. But I don’t really mind as long as they’re not calling me he or she. :)

  2. Yesterday’s #beingNB discussion on Twitter, in a handy easy-to-digest format.

  3. 16:57 14th Apr 2014

    Notes: 3433

    Reblogged from izoweirdo

    Tags: nonbinarygenderqueer


    Please take this survey if you are nonbinary, and signal boost it afterwards. (Signal boost even if you aren’t!)

    "Do you believe in alternative pronouns?" Erm. I don’t understand.

    Which is not to say it’s a bad survey! Also, OP, why are you running this survey?

    I ran a survey a bit like this. Here’s the results. It was not a long survey. ;)

  4. The US Nonbinary Petition

    I woke up at 4am because my cat likes to shred paperwork; now that the sun is rising I might as well pop in and say WOOOO YEAAAAHHHH!


    If you can’t see the image, it’s the "Legally Recognize Non-Binary Genders" petition on We The People, past the 100,000 threshold with nine days to spare and if you haven’t already you can still sign it.

    The vast majority of the commentary I’ve seen has been wildly supportive, which is not surprising to me when I consider my sample group. Having said that, some people have said that it won’t do anything, and some people have spoken out against it because they don’t like the idea of what would happen if nonbinary legal recognition was a Thing. I would like to talk about that.

    Let’s start by being clear: a website about American politics that permits signatures from people outside of the US isn’t going to be taken really really seriously by anyone with law-making powers. No laws are going to be written based on this. There’s a petition on the same site that has more than twice as many signatures in favour of deporting Justin Bieber; apparently he’s a bad influence and he threatens the safety of the American people. (Get off my lawn!) And there was that one about the Death Star, of course. But there are also fears that any legal recognition of nonbinary people would lead to gatekeeping and regulation and further oppression of already marginalised groups, which is an understandable fear considering how much people get screwed over by their own governments. I’m of the belief that if you’re failing to progress socially and culturally for fear of what will happen then the problem isn’t with the proposed law - when your elected representatives are using your own ideas to screw you over, you need to elect some new representatives.

    In all probability, a PR person will look this idea over and if we’re lucky they’ll write something that sounds positive until you look a little closer and realise that it doesn’t say anything. That’s because society as a whole doesn’t acknowledge nonbinary people and if we’re being realistic, nonbinary identities won’t be legally recognised until everyone knows what “nonbinary” even means. But when I say that this petition is a step in the right direction I do not mean politically or legally, I mean socially. The fact that US society is now safe enough to host this petition at all is a very significant thing.

    Let’s say… 60% of the signatures are from Americans. 60,000 people signing and sharing a petition with a whole lot of people who might never have heard the word nonbinary before. People seeing that this petition’s goal is actually possible, getting passionate and talking to their friends, co-workers, family members about their gender identity and educating each other on trans rights and human rights in a way that they might never have had the nerve to do before, but they’re starting to feel a little more courageous with the backing of 60,000 people. Maybe some people are even realising that the petition isn’t particularly influential, so they’re writing and calling their elected representative to discuss the issue and add weight, which is going to do far more for US law than any petition. Hoping that Obama will see it and be influenced is a harmless thing but real change will not happen without national attention and persistent political action.

    Even if this petition is the first step in US politics towards legal nonbinary recognition, which I doubt, it will be years of discussion and debate and you can bet that a whole lot of elected officials will be fighting against it, and even then it might not happen until it gets raised again in a couple of decades. In the intervening time everyone who cares about this issue in any way, including and especially people who are opposed, need to speak up and repeatedly bother people to make sure that this idea is not forgotten, and that the laws that do happen aren’t going to oppress marginalised groups further or be forced on anyone unwilling. And even with overwhelming support this law would take a very very long time to come into effect.

    But this petition isn’t about that. It’s about getting people talking to each other and being opinionated about nonbinary identity, and that’s why this petition has been a huge success.

  5. 22:51 10th Apr 2014

    Notes: 25793

    Reblogged from uncurlandunwind

    Tags: nonbinary

    image: Download











  6. gaydar-for-butts asked: Less than 3000 for non binary thing


  7. 10:41

    Notes: 32755

    Reblogged from lottelodge

    Tags: nonbinarygenderqueerpetition

    Holy crap less than 3,500 signatures to go before the White House have to discuss nonbinary genders!




    That’s amazing! There’s less than two weeks left; Tumblr, spread it like some kind of delicious sandwich filling! And for glob’s sake, SIGN IT!





  8. 10:30

    Notes: 5

    Tags: nonbinary

    Anon, concerned about the US nonbinary petition

    Anon asked:

    About your “nonbinary” petition: You don’t feel that it’s exclusionary (only one category for /every/ nonbinary person?) & likely to cause discrimination (someone spots an ‘X’ on documents instead of M/F) & probably cause issues with existing gatekeepers (are you /sure/ you’re trans & not nonbinary? your info’ doesn’t match our criteria. fill out these forms to prove it.) & also allow more extensive govt. monitoring/categorisation (a list of every nonbinary person. fun.). It’s not a good idea.. Aren’t you concerned for the probable consequences of legal recognition of nonbinary gender? 1, it lumps EVERY nonbinary person into one category. 2, it exacerbates existing gatekeeping by adding another category that could be used against trans folks. 3, it enables govt monitoring of nonbinary folks & dismissal of anyone that isn’t ‘officially’ or ‘out’ as nonbinary. 4, it’s wanting a legal solution to a social issue & will WORSEN discrimination instead of negating it. Seems dangerous/foolish.

    This anon sent two asks, so I thought it best to smush them together and post in a text-post.

    First of all, some things to be aware of. It’s not my petition; I’m not USian, and I didn’t write the petition. Even though people outside the US can register (by leaving the zip code field empty) and then sign it, I didn’t feel it was appropriate for me to do so because I have never been to the US. I’ve been promoting it because it’s interesting and exciting, and I know that there’s a lot of USians who want legal recognition. On my other blog I promote a nonbinary title, Mx, and it’s pretty normal for me to see comments along the lines of, “wow, I wish we had that here in the US.” But there’s also a little selfish bit of me that knows that if the US were to legally recognise nonbinary people, we’d have something more to throw at our own government and legal recognition of my gender would come sooner.

    Second, what with being in the UK and also being white I am pretty much totally inexperienced in the crap that Americans of colour have to put up with. I recognise that there’s a lot going on that I’m not aware of, and I get a bit of a flavour of what it might be when I struggle to find a home to rent as a disabled non-working person on benefits in a middle-class area.

    As you’re probably gathering from this, I’m really quite uninvolved in the whole thing. You may be wondering why you messaged me. Erm. I can’t help you there; I don’t know who started the petition, and I found out about it on Noiys.com and then in a message from an anon on Tumblr.

    So I’m going to talk about gender recognition in the UK. It’s totally unrelated but I’ll imagine that you’re asking me why I’m campaigning for nonbinary recognition for UK residents.

    When you’re born, your parents fill in the form for your birth certificate. If you’re a little baby with an intersex body they’re going to think verrrry carefully before putting an X in that box; it’s my understanding that most intersex people have a binary gender identity, but correct me if I’m wrong there. Of course, there’s no way of your parents knowing in advance which binary gender to pick, but at the moment the only option is male or female, so even babies who’ve not had surgery get put in one of those boxes. This could continue.

    When you’re binary trans you apply for a gender recognition certificate (GRC). But you’re not asking the panel to pick a gender that they think fits you; you apply for the one you want, and they decide whether or not you get it. The panel *couldn’t* issue you with an X instead of the M or F you’ve applied for.

    Civil partnerships happened a few years before same-gender marriage here. They allowed same-gender couples to legally unite (is that the right word?), and then they went, “oh hang on, we’re a bunch of bigots and this doesn’t make sense!” and they granted the ability to marry. Now they’re deciding whether civil partnerships are even needed any more, since same-gender couples now have two partnership options where different-binary-gender couples have just the one. (I like the idea of both options being available to everyone, but I am also a minimalist, so I’m not sure where I stand there.) 1

    What I’m getting at is, when new laws and social situations throw up obvious silliness, it can be dealt with quite quickly. I think if intersex birth certificates were possible, and nonbinary GRCs were possible, and most people who were intersex had to apply for a binary-gendered birth certificate pretty early on, and we have more useful identification like fingerprints and iris scans, it throws up the possibility of removing sex markers from birth certificates altogether, like some Canadian families are proposing.

    it lumps EVERY nonbinary person into one category.

    Obviously it would be preferable to have a “human” category and all the genders be lumped together, but I’m pretty sure the butch and femme women don’t mind being lumped together, or the trans and cis women, to use two very hasty and not-well-thought-out examples. Yes, there is a huge diversity among nonbinary identities, and there is a very similar range of expression in the binary categories too.

    it’s wanting a legal solution to a social issue & will WORSEN discrimination instead of negating it. Seems dangerous/foolish.

    Legal recognition of marginalised groups, at least over here, reduces discrimination against those groups.

    This petition doesn’t make something a law. It raises discussion; I’ll be very surprised if the US government take any action at all. I have to trust that this is the beginning of a big debate/review, and if the proposed third gender category isn’t suitable something better will be brought in instead. Making laws is slow and clumsy, but as long as elected representatives are listening to their constituents and asking the right questions we’re doing the best we can. And if those questions include “why do we even have gender on birth certificates? Isn’t that a little presumptuous?” then things are not so bad.


    1 Naturally, nonbinary people have no options for marriage because the current options require you to be a man or a woman. I don’t want to marry anyone, but there are nonbinary people who do want to marry someone without pretending to be binary. Likewise, there are nonbinary people who want to be parents, and the birth certificate requires words like “mother” and “father”.

  9. The Growing Use of Mx as a Gender-inclusive Title in the UK - 2.0

    I’ve updated the Mx PDF! It’s now divided into handy sections like Government, Banks, and Utilities. Plus there’s a few more bits of evidence; the list of banks is looking very respectable.

    Scribd / free download (5.4 MB)

    It’s worth noting that Mx was never intended to be a specifically nonbinary title; it’s just a title that has no gender connotations, that anyone can use. It is really useful for nonbinary folks though.

    It’s Creative Commons licensed so please feel free to download and share the PDF. It’s small enough to send as an email, it’s 18 pages long, and it’s really useful for throwing at anyone who tries to tell you, subtly or otherwise, that Mx is not a “real” title, or that they won’t update their systems to include it because they’ve never heard of it.

    Thanks, everyone!

  10. 14:51

    Notes: 8

    Tags: gendernonbinary

    Dr Barrett can’t say “they”, and other misgendering adventures

    A letter arrived this morning from Dr Barrett to my GP (I was CCed). It’s a pretty interesting letter, outlining my understanding that I’ll need to undergo continued observation at the GIC following my surgery because I’m nonbinary, and stuff like that. But he flawlessly uses “he” to refer to me throughout.

    This is my second appointment with him; both times we understood that my gender was not binary and I am not a man or a woman, and there’s paperwork in my file saying my pronouns are singular they, which I handed to him at my first appointment; I’ve been asked at every appointment what my pronouns are, and it’s been singular they every time. He’s just granted me surgery as an out nonbinary person. So why the hell is he still misgendering me, albeit by using a different pronoun this time?

    It sucks because aside from that detail it’s a pretty cool and gender-/surgery-affirming letter.

    This next bit happened in a cafe while we were waiting for lunch. My friend who is also nonbinary has this support worker. She’s not got a great track record when it comes to getting my pronouns right, but she tries. This morning, she told my friend that she would like to use binary-gender pronouns for them, despite being told otherwise. And then when I offered the letter for her to read, in the hope that she might be interested to learn stuff about gender identity clinics and transition and things, she basically said she was on Dr Barrett’s side and he was just confused, poor lamb etc. I explained that he wasn’t confused; he is a very experienced specialist and the lead clinician in the most central (and possibly oldest or most busy?) GIC in the country, responsible for the treatment of many nonbinary people in a career spanning decades, and guided by NHS guidelines that say you should use the pronouns that people ask you to use, but she wouldn’t admit that he should use the right pronouns for me.

    So I got up and left without saying much. I feel bad for my friend, who relies on her exclusively for disability support. If they fire her they’ll have no support at all, and therefore no way of getting more support. I think my friend is bringing me my lunch, since I left before it arrived. Today should be called “When Trans and Disability Collide: Why Intersectional Feminism is Important.”