letyourlifesing:

At least for the purpose of benefits in the UK.

Now on one hand, it’s sad, because the reasoning behind it is that poly relationships don’t count or are ‘less than’. On the other hand, it has a positive side affect; we should be assessed for benefits as single people rather than couples.

You can read it for yourself in the Department of Work and Pensions Decision Makers’ Guide, the bit you’re looking for is Chapter 11 of Volume 3 which you can find here: http://www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/dmgch11.pdf but I’ll have a bash at explaining below.

Basically, if you live in the same house as a partner the UK government, or more precisely the UK benefits system, is likely to take the view that you are Living Together As Husband And Wife/Civil Partner. This is also known as LTAHAW/CP which is an amusingly unwieldy acronym.

If you’re applying for benefits and you tell them that you’re in a couple you’ll end up with less money than the two of you would if you were assessed as single people and if one person is earning the other is forced to be financially dependant on them. If you apply for benefits and don’t tell them you’re in a couple but they later decide that you are, it has a bunch of negative outcomes, including the possibility of being done for fraud.

However, if you’re poly and share your home with your partner(s) then you’re off the hook on this one. The benefits system has no way of taking into account of being in more than one couple, let alone a three+ person relationship (to be fair, this would be a MAJOR administrative headache!) and they also regard faithfulness as one of the criteria to decide whether people are Living Together As Husband And Wife/Civil Partner. This means that people in poly relationships are treated as single when being assessed for benefits.

I’m not clear what the DWP would say if people were in a legal marriage/civil partnership *and* other relationships. Has anyone got knowledge/experience on this.

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Folks, meet the crew of the Poly Roger.

This was a LOT of fun to make, and the family love it. :) I’d share the pic here but as a commission it’s not under the usual Creative Commons license, so go have a look!

Anonymous asked: I don't really know anything about polygamy. But you describe yourself as agender/asexual/aromantic. What does all that mean, exactly? Also, how can you be attached to polygamy for the moment? (Just curious, not having a go). I thought polygamy was a life long thing? Like I said, I just don't know much about this stuff. So could you explain it? Thank yoooou. :)

Sure, why not? I mean, lots of people say GOOGLE IT but it’s often different for everyone, so there we are. It takes all sorts. :)

• Agender - I have no gender.
• Asexual - I am not sexually attracted to people.
• Aromantic - I am not romantically attracted to people, and don’t take part in romantic relationships.

I’m not polygamous; polygamy refers specifically to marriage, and I don’t want to get married. Yes, it is a lifelong thing, I guess? If people marry more than one person, that sounds pretty long-term to me.

I’m also not polyamorous, because polyamorous folk (for the most part, in my experience, there are plenty of exceptions) maintain multiple romantic relationships and I don’t maintain any romantic relationships.

As for the “for the moment” bit, that’s just a way of saying that everything is a bit transient. When I brought up my attitude to relationships in a polyamory forum online, everyone basically said, “okay so you’re not polyamorous because you don’t feel like you are, but we reckon the way you do things, ie: non-monogamy, will mean that you’ll always be welcome with the polyamorous folk regardless.” Which I thought was very sweet. :)

Since then, the best label I’ve found to describe what I do is “relationship anarchist”. Some relationships are friendships, some are sexual sometimes, and some are both sometimes. But each individual relationship stands on its own and is unaffected by the others. I guess some people are romantic within relationship anarchy, but not me.

Does that help? I hope so. :) If you want any more information about anything, googling will probably help a lot, but if you are still confused after that then please feel free to badger me further. Also, here is a badger for you. (Original, creative commons license)

X-Men’s Storm does not hold with your possessive crap.

A new comic! With three panels and everything!

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