1. To the white girl who felt the need to tell me I’d hurt her feelings, I have to ask – what were you trying to achieve? Did you really need the reassurance of a random brown stranger that you aren’t a bad person because of the colour of your skin? Did you need to be preened and petted so much that you had to interrupt a brown person’s narrative – the narrative of a person who is interrupted, silenced and shoved aside by white people constantly - so that everyone in the metaphorical room could attend to your needs and desires for a little while? What did you stand to gain by pointing out huffily that you, individually, were not racist? Did you want a medal for basic human decency, perhaps? A ticker-tape parade with a float staffed by non-white people showering you in confetti and holding up a big sign saying “This White Person is Not Like the Others”? A lovingly-baked cookie containing the blood, sweat, tears and gratitude of a brown person, delivered to you in a little box with a card reading, “thanks for achieving the minimum standard required for being a tolerable human being”?

    Because that’s the message you send when you derail conversations about whiteness-as-power-structure to point out that you, an individual white person, are not racist. You are saying: my feelings as a white person who is complicit in and bolstered by white privilege are more important than your right to talk about the power structures that oppress you. You are saying: I cannot abide a conversation that does not centre me, my feelings and my worldview. You are saying: me. Me me me me me me me me me me me. Also, me.
     
  2. 20:32 28th May 2012

    Notes: 61319

    Reblogged from fuckingickyricky

    Tags: privilege

    Did you know?

    yumadwhiteboy:

    collectivecrack:

    White American males constitute only 33% of the population. Yet, they occupy approximately:

    • 80% of tenured positions in higher education
    • 80% of the House of Representatives
    • 80-85% of the U.S. Senate
    • 92%of Forbes 400 executive CEO-level positions
    • 90% of athletic team owners
    • 97.7% of U.S. presidents

    And then they flip out when they’re not allowed in the Women’s Tent. 

    I was wondering about this today. Love it when the internet throws answers at me via the gay porn roulette without my having to Google it.

    (Source: )

     
  3. image: Download

    maymay:

This three-part Venn diagram titled “The Role of Privilege in Polyamorous Relationship Structures” is part of Franklin Veaux’s incredible sexual informatics visualizations and shows the overlap of “Male Privilege,” “Couple Privilege,” and “Entitlement”:
At the intersection of male privilege and couple privilege is the one-penis policy (“OPP”), which is a manifestation of sexism that results in common relationship rules of the form “My partners can have other women, but not other men.”
At the intersection of couple privilege and entitlement is the polyamory veto, which greatly contributes to systemic oppressions against “secondaries” and is typically retroactively justified by those who have “primary relationships” (and thus couple privilege) with the callous notion that “our relationship always comes first.”
At the intersection of entitlement and male privilege is compulsory polygamy, including secular polygamous practice, and sounds like some shit-face saying things along the lines of, “I get to have a harem, but none of my women can have anyone else.”
At the intersection of all three of male privilege, couple privilege, and entitlement are unicorn hunters, also known as Hot Bi Babe chasers, which sounds like, “We’re looking for an attractive bisexual woman to move in with us and to be with both of us exclusively. She will be lucky to share in all the love we have to offer her!”
What is too often left unsaid is that these are systemic problems within the polyamory community that the community, as a community, is heavily invested in denying (with the notable exception of Franklin’s visualizations, of course). There is also relatively little work within or directed at the polyamory community challenging these tropes in a forceful way. Franklin’s own writings, such as his recent essay Polyamory: Some Thoughts on Rules, lays a great foundation that I’d love to see advocated far more strongly than I’ve seen it been, to date.
I’m currently musing on these and similar topics in preparation for Atlanta Poly Weekend 2012, where I’ll be giving the conference’s opening keynote. I’ve been fortunate enough to be granted that remarkable opportunity, and at a time in my life when I’m struggling to unpack the effect these things have had on my personally important relationships.
Please let me know if you have any experiences to share that relate to these topics, or come across additional material that has informed your thinking on the matter.
For some of my own thought pieces on polyamory, see:
Dreaming of Compassion: Technology, Polyamory, and Social Justice — Public Anthropology Conference 2011
Anti-censorship best practices for the sex-positive publisher — Atlanta Poly Weekend 2011
(via Franklin Veaux’s Journal - Polyamory and Privilege)

    maymay:

    This three-part Venn diagram titled “The Role of Privilege in Polyamorous Relationship Structures” is part of Franklin Veaux’s incredible sexual informatics visualizations and shows the overlap of “Male Privilege,” “Couple Privilege,” and “Entitlement”:

    • At the intersection of male privilege and couple privilege is the one-penis policy (“OPP”), which is a manifestation of sexism that results in common relationship rules of the form “My partners can have other women, but not other men.”
    • At the intersection of couple privilege and entitlement is the polyamory veto, which greatly contributes to systemic oppressions against “secondaries” and is typically retroactively justified by those who have “primary relationships” (and thus couple privilege) with the callous notion that “our relationship always comes first.”
    • At the intersection of entitlement and male privilege is compulsory polygamy, including secular polygamous practice, and sounds like some shit-face saying things along the lines of, “I get to have a harem, but none of my women can have anyone else.”
    • At the intersection of all three of male privilege, couple privilege, and entitlement are unicorn hunters, also known as Hot Bi Babe chasers, which sounds like, “We’re looking for an attractive bisexual woman to move in with us and to be with both of us exclusively. She will be lucky to share in all the love we have to offer her!”

    What is too often left unsaid is that these are systemic problems within the polyamory community that the community, as a community, is heavily invested in denying (with the notable exception of Franklin’s visualizations, of course). There is also relatively little work within or directed at the polyamory community challenging these tropes in a forceful way. Franklin’s own writings, such as his recent essay Polyamory: Some Thoughts on Rules, lays a great foundation that I’d love to see advocated far more strongly than I’ve seen it been, to date.

    I’m currently musing on these and similar topics in preparation for Atlanta Poly Weekend 2012, where I’ll be giving the conference’s opening keynote. I’ve been fortunate enough to be granted that remarkable opportunity, and at a time in my life when I’m struggling to unpack the effect these things have had on my personally important relationships.

    Please let me know if you have any experiences to share that relate to these topics, or come across additional material that has informed your thinking on the matter.

    For some of my own thought pieces on polyamory, see:

    (via Franklin Veaux’s Journal - Polyamory and Privilege)

     
  4. Oh hey white western trans* and gender non conforming folx

    queerestoffinches:

    Just a reminder that using other cultures’ gender formations to legitimate your very specific and temporally significant one is colonialist as fuck and you need to step the fuck off. Your gendered embodiment is not at all the same as say a two spirit identified indigenous/first nations person so for you to make a comparison or justify your sense of gender through theirs is to do the same types of epistemic and physical violence they’ve faced from your imperialist whitebread ancestors for centuries.

    Edit: quick edit but I should also acknowledge its not just white people who can do this type of violence, ayone who legitimates their western identity through comparing a “third gender” category (which itself is a legacy of fucked up colonialism) of non western gendered embodiments is contributing to this epistemic violence. I only highlight white people bcause its commonly white supremacy that fosters the environment for these structural violences to occur.

    Mostly when I see people pointing out that non-binary genders exist in other cultures, I think, “I wish we had some recognition in our culture like that, too.”

    I think it’s natural to find comfort in the fact that other human beings feel the same way as us, and to feel that we’re not alone. I am not going to give myself a label that belongs to a culture that’s not my own, but I may highlight similarities to feel closer to GSM people. Reaching out to people like me isn’t much to do with culture.

    I’m all for avoiding cultural appropriation, but I’m also all for diversity and friendship. Clearly there is a fine line to walk, here.

     
  5. 10:33 19th Mar 2011

    Notes: 655

    Reblogged from justjasper

    Tags: feminismprivilege

    Privilege

    theskyandtheimpossibleexplode:

    privilege
    a poem for men who don’t understand what we mean when we say they have it

    privilege is simple:
    going for a pleasant stroll after dark,
    not checking the back of your car as you get in, sleeping soundly,
    speaking without interruption, and not remembering
    dreams of rape, that follow you all day, that woke you crying, and
    privilege
    is not seeing your stripped, humiliated body
    plastered in celebration across every magazine rack, privilege
    is going to the movies and not seeing yourself
    terrorized, defamed, battered, butchered
    seeing something else

    privilege is
    riding your bicycle across town without being screamed at or
    run off the road, not needing an abortion, taking off your shirt
    on a hot day, in a crowd, not wishing you could type better
    just in case, not shaving your legs, having a decent job and
    expecting to keep it, not feeling the boss’s hand up your crotch,
    dozing off on late-night busses, privilege
    is being the hero in the TV show not the dumb broad,
    living where your genitals are totemized not denied,
    knowing your doctor won’t rape you

    privilege is being
    smiled at all day by nice helpful women, it is
    the way you pass judgment on their appearance with magisterial authority,
    the way you face a judge of your own sex in court and
    are over-represented in Congress and are not strip searched for a traffic ticket
    or used as a dart board by your friendly mechanic, privilege
    is seeing your bearded face reflected through the history texts
    not only of your high school days but all your life, not being
    relegated to a paragraph
    every other chapter, the way you occupy
    entire volumes of poetry and more than your share of the couch unchallenged,
    it is your mouthing smug, atrocious insults at women
    who blink and change the subject — politely — privilege
    is how seldom the rapist’s name appears in the papers
    and the way you smirk over your PLAYBOY

    it’s simple really, privilege
    means someone else’s pain, your wealth
    is my terror, your uniform
    is a woman raped to death here, or in Cambodia or wherever
    wherever your obscene privilege
    writes your name in my blood, it’s that simple,
    you’ve always had it, that’s why it doesn’t
    seem to make you sick to your stomach,
    you have it, we pay for it, now
    do you understand

    —D.A. Clarke

    reprinted from Banshee, Peregrine Press

    Copyright (c) 1981 D. A. Clarke. All Rights Reserved

     
  6. hairyqueerkid:

Some of the problems i have with mainstream polyamory. I’m not even comfortable with the idea of “primary” and “secondary” partners. Hierarchy is not my thing.   

    hairyqueerkid:

    Some of the problems i have with mainstream polyamory. I’m not even comfortable with the idea of “primary” and “secondary” partners. Hierarchy is not my thing.